Because food!

Hey everyone! Just so you know, things have been kind of busy yadda yadda yadda. And in response to that, I've decided to make myself even busier! I created a sister blog and this one is all about food!

Check it out here: http://belchesandblerghs.blogspot.com/

Huehuehue

Keep on nomming,

My Love-Hate Relationship With My Glasses

One fun fact about me - I seem to always have worn glasses. The frames, and sometimes the lens grade, merely change over the years to fit my personal style and my worsening eyesight. But anyway, my glasses are cool and all that because they help me to actually recognize someone in public (because without my glasses, everyone basically looks like faceless blobs) but they do have their own downsides. Without further ado, let me present to all of you my list of top ten worst things about having to wear glasses:

1. You don't want to wear them for whatever reason and well, that sucks because you have to. You won't be able to see anything without them aside from a jumbled mass of shapes and colors. So abstract!

Ah, yes! Good morning, Mr. Anderson. You're looking dapper today! Is that a new tie?

Also, even with them on, they can only provide you with a limited area of clarity. Your peripheral vision is still blurry as ever!

2. You can't wear sunglasses. Unless you have those cool ones that have your custom eye grade built into them, you're stuck with having to shield your eyes using your hands, a newspaper, a cap, anything but sunglasses, which were made specifically for the purpose of shielding eyes from the sun in mind!

But hey, if you insist.

3. They can get knocked off your face sometimes. A mistimed high-five and boom! You've been transported back to blurrysville. 

4. In connection to number 3, once they are knocked off, it takes nearly forever to find them and you look like an idiot scrambling around on all fours brushing across the floor or wherever to see where on earth your glasses ended up (and before something happens to them) and people around you are like "Dude, your glasses are like right there!". Why thank you, captain obvious! I know they're right here (somewhere) but I can't see them because everything from my end looks like my eyes have been coated with a fresh layer of petroleum jelly so if you could stop being a poopyhead and just hand me over my glasses, that would be great. Thanks.

5. Even with them on, you still get pretty crappy view sometimes. Mostly because of lens smudges. You accidentally touch your glasses while brushing your hair away from your face? Lens smudge. Someone kisses you and their nose pokes your glasses? Lens smudge. You huggle your dog and he brushes up against your glasses? Lens smudge. Basically every activity can result in a lens smudge and if you don't clean it up, you have to walk around with slightly-there-but-not-really semi-transparent shapes in your field of vision.

6. Speaking of cleaning your glasses, they sometimes take forever to clean! With some smudges not budging and sometimes even managing to smudge up an entire lens! What the what!

Whyyyyyyyyy!??!?!

7. So you vow to always take good care of your glasses and just never remove them so you get a perfect view of the world like people with 20/20 vision (Lucky bastards!). But you still have to take them off. You won't be able to enjoy activities that people with perfect vision take for granted. For example:

Remove glasses in shower = Accidentally use lotion as shampoo
Remove glasses while having a haircut = What have you done to my hair?
Remove glasses in the pool = Be the worst water volleyball player ever
Remove glasses before sleeping = Wake up not knowing what time it is by instantly looking at the clock

8. People who wear fake, non-prescription eyeglasses are 842528752 times more annoying. Why do you mock me? HUHUHU. These glasses are no joke! I do not have the same luxury of using them as an accessory! Or to take cutesy "im such a nerd lolol <3" pictures. I actually have to live with the exchange of bad eyesight for these glasses.

"Oh, you think the glasses are your ally, but you merely adopted these spectacles. I was born with them, molded by them. I didn't see clearly until I was already a man; by then, it was nothing to me but blinding!"

9. People don't recognize you without your glasses or say that you look weird, probably because you have to squint a lot without them on. 

10. You spend a good amount of time and money on your eyeglasses and their added care and maintenance. You have to find the right fit, the right frame, the right lens! Should I go for the brown frames, or these big red ones? color-changing lens? The thick ones? The thin ones? The anti-glare? What do all these options mean? You will need to replace them if they break, get them readjusted if they get loose, update them if your eyesight gets even worse, etc. etc.

But even with all these things, I can still proudly say that I still kinda like my glasses. Each and every single pair I've had throughout the years has definitely helped me see the world better and all the beauty it has to offer. I feel naked, incomplete without my glasses. They have become a very important part of me, and I'm sure everyone who has had to get glasses feels the same way. Here's to taking good care of our eyes and our little eye helpers!

See you guys around, 

A Cardboard Box. Because I'd Rather Think Of That Than Of You.

(Or how to tell if someone doesn't love you anymore)

Isn't love wonderful? It's something crazy, unexplainable, spontaneous, unpredictable and just downright awesomesauce. It makes you put on these reality-altering glasses that makes you think the one you love can do no wrong, and are near-perfect in every single way.

But sadly, love can fade, especially if you let it. And sometimes, there are these poor bastards left behind who are still being led on and have no clue that their significant other, who they've placed all high up on a pedestal, just doesn't love them anymore (and don't have much of a backbone to tell them).

But luckily, I am here to help! Here's just a couple of things that you need to look out for to know if your boyfriend or girlfriend both figuratively and literally hates your guts:

1. He/She is always busy.

This basically just translates to him or her wanting to avoid you at all costs. If you invite your girlfriend to go out, watch a movie, have lunch, or go hang out at malls and shizz (you know, whatever the cool kids are into these days) and she says she's busy watching paint dry, you'd better start re-evaluating your relationship. 

2. He/She appears to not want to be seen with you.

On the rare occasion that you absolutely HAVE to go out together (like if you're the only person within the first ten contact numbers on her phone who has a car and she needs a ride), she tries to maintain an at least two arm length distance from you at all sides, acts like you're not there, and jumps behind the decorative plants at malls when you see someone you both know. 

3. He/She treats you like crap around people.You love your boyfriend and introduce him to everyone like so: "Girls, prepare your ovaries and guys, you might want to prepare yourselves too, cause this guy's a supernova of hotness. He's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! He's one-of-a-kind! He's super special to me, and he's perfect! Like just perfect and wonderful and I can't even explain it gawd! Ehem. Anyway, this is my boyfriend. MY BOYFRIEND (In case, someone didn't hear) and I love him SOOOO MUCH LIKE REALLY." But when it's his turn, he goes:

"Ouch"

You attempt to rectify the situation by scooching closer to your honey and attempting to wrap your arms around his body or plant a kiss on his cheek. All your efforts are promptly halted with his swift uppercut to your chin.

4. He/She lies to you

He says he has to go out and do some errands with his grandmother today. Okay. No biggie. But then you see him out with someone and confront him immediately. "You don't understand, sweetie! This is my ridiculously hot 19 year old grandmother!" he says. 

5. He/She starts seeing other people

You're sitting there on the couch (while watching your boyfriend play video games and any attempts to try and engage him in conversation ends with him giving you a death stare) and your boyfriend gets up to get a glass of water. Suddenly, his phone beeps and a notification pops up. He just got a text from "Shaniqua" and she said: "Hey sweetie. That tongue of yours is dynamite. Can't wait to see you again. XOXO" What the what! But he reassures you it's his dentist. No worries!

6. He/She is utterly repulsed by you
If any of the comments you hear from her about you include "Ewww.", "You disgust me" or "Good gawd! Stop breathing. It's so annoying!", then she probably doesn't love you anymore. Also, if you lean in for a kiss and she says kissing is kinda gross, but then proptly lets her dog (who regularly rummages in the garbage can) slobber all over her face.

So there you have it!  A simple guide to help the clueless of the clueless out there! If your bf/gf exhibits one or more of these points, then you're outta luck, bro. However, it's not the end of the world. Like they say, there are a whole lot of other fish in the sea! In the meantime, there's a box of tissues, pizza, high calorie ice cream and reruns of Friends to keep you company.

Hang in there,

I Make Moneyzz Now

So since my last post, I have applied and have been accepted to two separate work places. I've committed two working days to each place, and therefore have a total of four working days per week! (Oh my gosh, this is actually a thing that is really happening!) The workload is manageable. I get to work with super cute kids and friendly people. I still do papers and make notes and I still get to play with play-doh.

Just because mooshing shizz between your palms is therapeutic after a long day. 

Along with the pressure that I'm actually a working girl, I'm getting paid for what I was trained to do. (That's the best part, aside of course from your kid actually making progress). I get paid for every therapy and evaluation session that I do, and this has resulted in a fairly good amount of money making its way into my pockets. Being impulsive me, I immediately went out and spent my first paycheck on a watch, a bag and a pair of shoes. I REGRET NOTHING. But seriously though, I really need to save. So I decided to pace myself (but really, who am I kidding?). Therefore, I created this little wishlist of sorts. I also tried to control my spending by locking some money in a cash box and cramming the rest into my bank account. But anyway, back to my wishlist:

1. A ridiculous amount of shoes

Girls are seemingly preprogrammed to love shoes, so this is kind of a given, I guess. 

Did I mention I really like shoes?

2. A ridiculous amount of clothes

Girls are seemingly preprogrammed to love clothes, so this is kind of a given, I guess. 

3. A ridiculous amount of useless quirky stuff

Being the kind of person who acts first before actually thinking, I usually end up with a ton of stuff that I don't really see myself wanting or needing in the long run. Couple this with the fact that I'm a pack rat and hate throwing out stuff, i end up with limited edition (yet not very functional or age-appropriate) cartoon character bags and headgear, disfigured figurines, mini plants, and even a betta. Yes, I now have a Siamese fighting fish in my room. I bought the little guy on an impulse. But I do know how to take care of him though. So to everyone out there who plans on taking care of a pet, do research first! A friendly reminder from your local blogger weirdo. 

4. Therapy materials for my kids
I want to have a huge collection of therapy stuff because that would be awesome. Plus it would be really cool having my own stuff and not needing to borrow from the clinics I work at. 

5. A ton of food and money for eating out
Because I am me. And I love food so much. I've also been dying to try out all the other food places over here where I live. I do not want to live on McDonalds, cup noodles and cheap pizza anymore. I am not a college student anymore. I am a working girl! I am an adult and I am successful and moving forward with my life! (And I still go to sleep with my favorite stuffed toy at night)

Chill,

Who Cares?

By nature, people are self-conscious to an extent. I mean, even the most confident of people have some moments wherein they end up doubting themselves a bit or worrying about some aspect of their being.

"Oh nooo. I feel so uglyyyyyy"

And then all we normal people are sitting back here like "Bitch, puh-lease". But we can't really help it. We get self-conscious, we sometimes compare ourselves to other people, and generally overthink things so much that the end result leaves us just wanting to curl up in a fetal position, cry our eyes out and die, lest we suffer more of this horrible existence. 

Growing up, I was bullied all the time and as a result, my self-esteem plummeted. I hated looking at myself and I was usually always by myself being a loner and stuff. On the really bad days I remember I would hole myself up in our school's dingy bathroom and bawl my eyes out. 

"Why do eight year olds have to bear this much pain?Boo hoo"

While being bullied really sucks, the key is to not let it affect you. Kids can be horrible, brutal creatures. One moment they're all kinds of adorable and the next they're very capable of being devil spawn. Truth is, no one really thinks about you or notices you as much as you believe. 

Don't flatter yourself, kid.

And while that sounds kind of really depressing, just think of this: that single incident when you slipped on the sidewalk and landed on your butt that you obsessed over for days on end? Everyone who witnessed it forgot about it within the next minute. Feeling self-conscious that everyone's looking at you? Should you have worn that other top with these shorts? Do these pants make you look fat? Do you have something in your teeth? DAMMIT WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW? SOMEONE ASSURE YOU AND TELL YOU YOU'RE GORGEOUS! Big surprise: everyone is too preoccupied with their own crap to really notice things like that. We're so narcissistic that we always try to skew things to fit our twisted perception that we are the center of everything. 

In reality, we magnify things so much that it affects us; our thinking, our performance, etc. The key is simple, really. Don't overthink things. Sure, I still get self-conscious sometimes, but knowing that no one really cares as much as I think they do grounds me. We're all awesome in our own right and in the end, we ourselves have to believe that since that's the only opinion that really matters.

Stay awesome,