Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Baby Blues

Most of you don't really know this (except of course, for people I know in real life creeping on here) but a while back, my mom called me up on Skype and asked me if I wanted to know a secret. Being someone who could probably give Curious George a run for his monkey money, I nodded my head almost immediately.


She leaned in closer to her webcam and promptly announced: I think I might be pregnant.

"urp"
At the time, I was nomming on some delicious little oranges (What are they called again?) and I half-choked on a seed and half-spat another. My lovely mother got a kick out of that. When I asked her how it happened, and she responded with "How do you think it happened?", I promptly tried to push away the images of my middle-aged parents doing err, you know, that all suddenly started popping up one after another like those rampant porn site viruses (not like I would know anything about those) and tried to focus on the urgent matter at hand: my mom could possibly later on bring a new life into this world and I would be a sister, for the second time! 

Needless to say, I wasn't exactly thrilled at this. I mean, I can barely even see eye to eye with the sibling I have now and I most definitely would not want another one. Besides, I am now old. Having another younger sibling stopped being cool when I turned ten, since by that point, all I could think of was by the time I would be 40 and well on my way towards the slow decline to wrinkly skin and death by old age, my sibling would be thirty, flirty and thriving (hello '13 Going On 30' reference!). Yes, I am that selfish.

Add to this the fact that babies are practically useless. Yes, I admit, they ARE cute. For like a second! This is before they either start what other people consider "crying" (although I would personally choose to call it deafening screams of doom), or poop/eat/sleep and then "cry".

"OH GAWD. It's calling its dark minions. Take cover! I got dibs on the space under the table"

Plus, they always seem to be happy and always seem to want to attract your attention. It's like they put everyone under a spell and then use them to fulfill their wishes. Also, they can't do my homework for me, or do any chores, and more importantly, they can't really take the blame for me. 

"Honestly, it was the baby! Believe me, you fools! DO NOT BE DECEIVED!"

On a final note, my mom turned out to not be pregnant after all. Her "monthly visitor" was just a tad bit delayed. This equated to me breathing a sigh of relief. It was a false alarm. In other words, PARTAAAY! 

Waah,

10 comments:

  1. OMG hahahaha what a scare that must have been! i'm exactly like you. my parents want another baby, and i have firmly told them that it cannot and must not happen. i would definitely not like an 18 year old age gap between a sibling. i have a 14 year old brother like you, and i think that's enough.
    I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT BABIES. their crying is the worst :O

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  2. WOW. I've never really been around newborns. xD My bro is older than me. My older step-sister is pregnant though so... o.o

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  3. Hahaha you remind me of a friend of mine. Her Mom told her she was pregnant and she had the same reaction. Hahaha.

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  4. My best friend had a new sister when she was 13, and she actually enjoyed changing her diapers, bathing her etc.
    You're totally right., THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING.

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  5. HAHAHAHAHA, this is PHUNNAY. And scary. I'm the youngest and an 18 year-old difference does nit sound cute at all.
    Random reader. :)

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  6. LOL! brillepiciantly funny this was.
    The age gap between my youngest sister(I have 2 btw) and I is 10 years. I have a problem with this itself sometimes. I can imagine an 18 year gap.
    and oh the BBQ and music department can be mine. for the PARTAAY i.e =D

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  7. Love your blog! (:

    follow me too!
    http://yellowbirdserendipity.blogspot.com/

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  8. That was a nice secret. She probably got a big kick from your reaction.
    But aww, no new family member then.
    & It is creepy to imagine your parents doing sexual acts..

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  9. haha.. It's silly of you to ask your mom how it happened.funny post. but I love babies.. :)

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  10. @Furree Katt: what a scare it was, indeed! and yes, i think the sibling i have now is enough. an 18 year gap is definitely a big no-no.

    @Jodie-Ann: good luck with that soon-to-arrive crying pooping bundle of *winces* joy. haha. :D

    @Aseela Haque: your friend's reaction was very appropriate. haha.

    @cricketfreak: i salute your best friend! :O and yeah, babies are really pretty useless.

    @Mehwinsky: i agree. 18 year difference is..err. just no. haha. thankyou for randomly reading and commenting! :D

    @Delilah: really? wow. glad you managed to pull through. and yay for BBQ and music that's on you! haha.

    @YellowBird Serendipity: thanks! i shall check out your blog! :D

    @iZaynab: i'm okay with the no new family member. haha. and yeah, creepy *shudders*

    @mayen: if babies just sat still and looked cute forever, i would probably like them more. ahaha.

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