Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A Cardboard Box. Because I'd Rather Think Of That Than Of You.

(Or how to tell if someone doesn't love you anymore)

Isn't love wonderful? It's something crazy, unexplainable, spontaneous, unpredictable and just downright awesomesauce. It makes you put on these reality-altering glasses that makes you think the one you love can do no wrong, and are near-perfect in every single way.

But sadly, love can fade, especially if you let it. And sometimes, there are these poor bastards left behind who are still being led on and have no clue that their significant other, who they've placed all high up on a pedestal, just doesn't love them anymore (and don't have much of a backbone to tell them).


But luckily, I am here to help! Here's just a couple of things that you need to look out for to know if your boyfriend or girlfriend both figuratively and literally hates your guts:

1. He/She is always busy.
This basically just translates to him or her wanting to avoid you at all costs. If you invite your girlfriend to go out, watch a movie, have lunch, or go hang out at malls and shizz (you know, whatever the cool kids are into these days) and she says she's busy watching paint dry, you'd better start re-evaluating your relationship. 

2. He/She appears to not want to be seen with you.
On the rare occasion that you absolutely HAVE to go out together (like if you're the only person within the first ten contact numbers on her phone who has a car and she needs a ride), she tries to maintain an at least two arm length distance from you at all sides, acts like you're not there, and jumps behind the decorative plants at malls when you see someone you both know. 

3. He/She treats you like crap around people.You love your boyfriend and introduce him to everyone like so: "Girls, prepare your ovaries and guys, you might want to prepare yourselves too, cause this guy's a supernova of hotness. He's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! He's one-of-a-kind! He's super special to me, and he's perfect! Like just perfect and wonderful and I can't even explain it gawd! Ehem. Anyway, this is my boyfriend. MY BOYFRIEND (In case, someone didn't hear) and I love him SOOOO MUCH LIKE REALLY." But when it's his turn, he goes:

"Ouch"

You attempt to rectify the situation by scooching closer to your honey and attempting to wrap your arms around his body or plant a kiss on his cheek. All your efforts are promptly halted with his swift uppercut to your chin.

4. He/She lies to you
He says he has to go out and do some errands with his grandmother today. Okay. No biggie. But then you see him out with someone and confront him immediately. "You don't understand, sweetie! This is my ridiculously hot 19 year old grandmother!" he says. 

5. He/She starts seeing other people
You're sitting there on the couch (while watching your boyfriend play video games and any attempts to try and engage him in conversation ends with him giving you a death stare) and your boyfriend gets up to get a glass of water. Suddenly, his phone beeps and a notification pops up. He just got a text from "Shaniqua" and she said: "Hey sweetie. That tongue of yours is dynamite. Can't wait to see you again. XOXO" What the what! But he reassures you it's his dentist. No worries!

6. He/She is utterly repulsed by you
If any of the comments you hear from her about you include "Ewww.", "You disgust me" or "Good gawd! Stop breathing. It's so annoying!", then she probably doesn't love you anymore. Also, if you lean in for a kiss and she says kissing is kinda gross, but then proptly lets her dog (who regularly rummages in the garbage can) slobber all over her face.

So there you have it!  A simple guide to help the clueless of the clueless out there! If your bf/gf exhibits one or more of these points, then you're outta luck, bro. However, it's not the end of the world. Like they say, there are a whole lot of other fish in the sea! In the meantime, there's a box of tissues, pizza, high calorie ice cream and reruns of Friends to keep you company.

Hang in there,

Saturday, June 29, 2013

I Make Moneyzz Now

So since my last post, I have applied and have been accepted to two separate work places. I've committed two working days to each place, and therefore have a total of four working days per week! (Oh my gosh, this is actually a thing that is really happening!) The workload is manageable. I get to work with super cute kids and friendly people. I still do papers and make notes and I still get to play with play-doh.

Just because mooshing shizz between your palms is therapeutic after a long day. 

Along with the pressure that I'm actually a working girl, I'm getting paid for what I was trained to do. (That's the best part, aside of course from your kid actually making progress). I get paid for every therapy and evaluation session that I do, and this has resulted in a fairly good amount of money making its way into my pockets. Being impulsive me, I immediately went out and spent my first paycheck on a watch, a bag and a pair of shoes. I REGRET NOTHING. But seriously though, I really need to save. So I decided to pace myself (but really, who am I kidding?). Therefore, I created this little wishlist of sorts. I also tried to control my spending by locking some money in a cash box and cramming the rest into my bank account. But anyway, back to my wishlist:

1. A ridiculous amount of shoes
Girls are seemingly preprogrammed to love shoes, so this is kind of a given, I guess. 
Did I mention I really like shoes?

2. A ridiculous amount of clothes
Girls are seemingly preprogrammed to love clothes, so this is kind of a given, I guess. 

3. A ridiculous amount of useless quirky stuff
Being the kind of person who acts first before actually thinking, I usually end up with a ton of stuff that I don't really see myself wanting or needing in the long run. Couple this with the fact that I'm a pack rat and hate throwing out stuff, i end up with limited edition (yet not very functional or age-appropriate) cartoon character bags and headgear, disfigured figurines, mini plants, and even a betta. Yes, I now have a Siamese fighting fish in my room. I bought the little guy on an impulse. But I do know how to take care of him though. So to everyone out there who plans on taking care of a pet, do research first! A friendly reminder from your local blogger weirdo. 

4. Therapy materials for my kids
I want to have a huge collection of therapy stuff because that would be awesome. Plus it would be really cool having my own stuff and not needing to borrow from the clinics I work at. 

5. A ton of food and money for eating out
Because I am me. And I love food so much. I've also been dying to try out all the other food places over here where I live. I do not want to live on McDonalds, cup noodles and cheap pizza anymore. I am not a college student anymore. I am a working girl! I am an adult and I am successful and moving forward with my life! (And I still go to sleep with my favorite stuffed toy at night)

Chill,

Friday, June 14, 2013

Who Cares?

By nature, people are self-conscious to an extent. I mean, even the most confident of people have some moments wherein they end up doubting themselves a bit or worrying about some aspect of their being.

"Oh nooo. I feel so uglyyyyyy"

And then all we normal people are sitting back here like "Bitch, puh-lease". But we can't really help it. We get self-conscious, we sometimes compare ourselves to other people, and generally overthink things so much that the end result leaves us just wanting to curl up in a fetal position, cry our eyes out and die, lest we suffer more of this horrible existence. 

Growing up, I was bullied all the time and as a result, my self-esteem plummeted. I hated looking at myself and I was usually always by myself being a loner and stuff. On the really bad days I remember I would hole myself up in our school's dingy bathroom and bawl my eyes out. 

"Why do eight year olds have to bear this much pain?Boo hoo"

While being bullied really sucks, the key is to not let it affect you. Kids can be horrible, brutal creatures. One moment they're all kinds of adorable and the next they're very capable of being devil spawn. Truth is, no one really thinks about you or notices you as much as you believe. 

Don't flatter yourself, kid.

And while that sounds kind of really depressing, just think of this: that single incident when you slipped on the sidewalk and landed on your butt that you obsessed over for days on end? Everyone who witnessed it forgot about it within the next minute. Feeling self-conscious that everyone's looking at you? Should you have worn that other top with these shorts? Do these pants make you look fat? Do you have something in your teeth? DAMMIT WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW? SOMEONE ASSURE YOU AND TELL YOU YOU'RE GORGEOUS! Big surprise: everyone is too preoccupied with their own crap to really notice things like that. We're so narcissistic that we always try to skew things to fit our twisted perception that we are the center of everything. 

In reality, we magnify things so much that it affects us; our thinking, our performance, etc. The key is simple, really. Don't overthink things. Sure, I still get self-conscious sometimes, but knowing that no one really cares as much as I think they do grounds me. We're all awesome in our own right and in the end, we ourselves have to believe that since that's the only opinion that really matters.

Stay awesome, 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Cuddle Me Please?

So over where I am, the rainy season has kinda started so I've recently had to trade in my summer-y slippers and shoes for more rain-proof gear. It's horrible to have your feet soaked in dirty sidewalk rain water that has mixed with spit and pee and all that junk, you know.

(Image withheld due to disgusting content)
Ahhh, reminds me of the time I went around looking for a dorm and had to step foot in the bathrooms.

But anyway, I still kind of like the rainy season as long as I don't have to be somewhere important in a hurry and I have to commute and brave the winds, and the wetness and I just end up looking like crap. I like rainy days since I get to kind of stay in, drink some hot chocolate, read a good book, write some fiction, or watch a good movie with my boyfriend all snuggled up under the covers with a bowl of popcorn. 

Awwww. Cuddle weather!

Unfortunately, I can't really do that since my boyfriend is kind of busy with reviewing for board exams in August, and instead of being all like "Hurr durr cuddle weather" I'm all:

"#&*)#%@$!!!"

Left with no one to cuddle with except the creepy shadows on the wall, scary lightning flashing through the sky and thunder loud enough to rattle my entire room and send genuine shivers down my spine and ringing in my ears. Other than that, it's all good.

Board exams can be a real rattling thing and although I can't experience them (yet?), from creepily observing my boyfriend study for hours on end at coffee shops, at his apartment, on the toilet, etc. while I insensitively play games on my phone and occasionally disturb him with stupid questions, it seems to be a really difficult thing. Like, for realzzz.

I mean you're going to have to review, memorize, what-have-you all these things, go through practice question after practice question, read and study, etc. etc. It will all be worth it in the end, though. If you pass, you're going to be awesome, have bragging rights and just generally get to do whatever the heck you want. 

Start a gang, rob a bank, you're one crazy mofo. You passed boards!

Well, you know. Maybe not whatever you want per se. But, close. So to everyone preparing for board exams, study well and may the powers of the coffee you drink triple! 

Good luck, 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Stupidest Thing You Have Ever Done (Part II)

Fair warning to all of you out there, for the first time in this blog's 2+ year run, I will deviate from my usual formulaic cheery happy writing style for a more serious tone. But meh, that's gonna get old real fast, so let's see if I can still throw a few jokes in there without being inappropriate.

Anyway, one of the really stupid things I've done in my life (aside from insisting that I drink water with a straw) is hurt people. But before y'all call the cops on me, not as in I inflict physical pain on people and have a bunch of bodies stored up in my basement or in my freezer. 

Nope. I'm not this guy.

I hurt them on a deeper, emotional level. I always seem to screw up and hurt the people closest to me. I keep doing stupid mistakes that could've been avoided with just stopping to think about my actions, or their consequences. Blah, I really should fix that part about me. I know that no matter how much someone loves me, people still do have their limits, and no-one really sticks around forever. Even if they do, it won't ever be the same anymore.

Just a little something to ponder about for myself and for everyone out there. Never take people you love and who love you for granted. 

HAHAHAHA. But, srsly you gaiizzz.

G'day, 

Monday, June 3, 2013

Stupidest Thing You Have Ever Done

So what is it? I mean, we've all been kids (and we all know how dumb little kids are. Or maybe that's what they want us to believe. It's a conspiracy!) and we've all had moments of crazy lapses in judgment, so I'm sure we all have a good store of stupid things we've done that we either whip out during parties to impress that one particular target (I mean, you are still standing), or that we'd rather forget altogether.

Anyway, I'll go first. Actually, due to the sheer amount of stupid things I've done, it's kind of hard to pick a favorite. So I'm just gonna enumerate a couple of things:

1. I once decided to lick a plug for the heck of it. I mean, is "electricity" really a thing, or was Benjamin Franklin just messing with us?
Damn near electrocuted myself. But hey, at least we know electricity's the real deal now. Where's my nobel prize? 

2. Being a kid and being amazed at how thermometers worked, I ran one under hot water and then immediately under cold water. It exploded and then there I was with broken glass around me and a palmful of mercury. Lucky my mom saw me and saved me.  

3. Used up time and effort to think up a good, context-specific pick-up line for this one guy I kinda knew, and all I got was a bland "That's cute". First and last time I ever used a pick-up line on someone I will still be able to see on a fairly regular basis. The awkwardness that follows ain't worth it. 

4. Kicked our Xbox because my bro wouldn't let me play, and at the time it seemed like a good idea to let him realize that I really really wanted to play already. It suddenly made weird noises and the game stuck. Something happened and long story short, my brother's new game got scratched to the point of "unplayability", I got a grounded, and my brother still got to continue playing. 

The Xbox was relatively fine, though. Thank goodness. Almost thought I lost one of my good friends that day.

5. Decided to try "alcohol" for the first time, since all the cool people were doing it. Being stupid, I thought everyone was just kicking back shots of rubbing alcohol, so I tried that. Didn't kill myself, but my mother had a good laugh out of it as she grounded me again. 

So there you have it, a list of 5 stupid things I've done in my life. They're not even in order, and not even the worst, I believe. Oh, and there's a reason for this post. Yes, contrary to popular opinion, I actually think and plan things out now. So, reason for this post will arise in my next post, so stay tuned!

Over and out,

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Commenting Blues

So since my blogging hiatus, I've received a pretty decent number of comments on various of my old blog posts. Naturally I should be flattered, ecstatic even, at the thought that people still regularly come and read my blog and care enough to comment. However, upon closer inspection...

Spam! Spam everywhere!

This is like the blog equivalent of giving someone a box of their favorite anything wrapped up all nice and pretty with those little satin ribbons and fancy schmancy textured wrapping paper but sticking a brick inside of it instead. Curse you, spambots! Because of this, I've decided to add the captcha option to the comments. I know, I know. It's so annoying, but

...if you really loved me, you'd do this for me! (Says me and every other teenage boy looking to guilt trip their girlfriends into doing you-know-what)

In the meantime, I'll be cleaning up the comments section, deleting all the spam comments and whatnot. Also, I'm off to search for new blogs to read and follow, as some of the old ones I've been following haven't posted new content in a while as well. Awww, noooo! Please come back, everyone! We can all hold hands and blog about stuff just like in the old days. Please?

UPDATE: Thanks to Fang (awesome guy, check out his blog!), I set up comment moderation instead so all you lovely people don't have to go through the dreaded captcha loop. 

Huhu, 

A Crazy Little Thing Called...

So one of the things I managed to slash off my bucket list over the course of the past year involves something kind of major. I mean, considering all the past posts I've had regarding this subject, you'd think I'd turn out to be a hopeless old lady with 12349843284 cats. But anyway, what is this thing you ask? Well, it's a little thing called love. ZOMGYAY! Yes, dear readers. I have been unwittingly bitten by the love bug. It all happened so fast, and let me spare you some of the more gummy gooey details. But the thing is, it kind of really actually happened. I know what you're all thinking:
"Dafuq?"

But it's surprisingly true. Someone actually found me attractive enough to pursue me even when I initially rejected this seemingly bogus promise of an actual two-way relationship that would include dinner dates, cheesy conversations and PDA that makes everyone around you feel awkward (as opposed to the usual one-sided ones I have that involve countless hours of Facebook stalking and awkward staring from across the room).
"Ah, I see you've decided to sleep on your side tonight. You so cute"

I actually gave the poor guy a hard time, and he still surprisingly didn't give up for some reason. I gradually began to admire and appreciate his persistence and determination. Eventually, things started running smoothly, although we do have our own fair share of problems, issues and differences, but we still manage to work things out somehow. It's definitely been a while since I've been able to actually have my affections reciprocated. So, on to the next big question. Who is the lucky guy? Well, if y'all remember my old post more than a year back about our college christmas party, he's Iron Man. And although as much as I'd love my very own Robert Downey Jr. (totally different aside from the snarky attitude, his big ego and obsession with technology), he's a pretty okay, although kind of weird-in-a-good-way kind of guy. I can't explain it. We agree on a pretty standard amount of things like our mutual love for Adventure Time and Game of Thrones (these are legit series by the way) but we also disagree a lot. And they're usually petty arguments such as: 

- should you look at incoming traffic or the stoplights when crossing the street?
- what is the most acceptable way to turn down a creepy guy randomly asking for your number?
- is pesto really all that good?
- is Jeremy Renner a cool dude?
- should my socks kinda stick out of my shoes or not?
- why on earth is flyaway hair a good thing?

And the list goes on and on and on. But he's a pretty cool guy, and I admit it's kinda fun having a partner in crime doing all this weird spontaneous shizz with me and having someone to talk to other than the shadows on the wall and the voices in my head. Y'all know what I'm talking about, right? So in conclusion, I can say that I'm a pretty happy kid and let's just hope things continue to run smoothly. So all you hotties out there, I'm sorry but I'm kinda tied down right now. 

Shhhh! It's okay. Dry your tears, boys. Don't worry, I'll call you soon. Calm down. It's gonna be fine. You know I still love you guys!

In conclusion, I guess it's a good idea to wait things out and to actually give people a chance. But eh! What do I know? I'm just another random almost-20-year-old-child-at-heart in love. Stay strong, people! 

Accurate photo of us

Love, 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

So It Is Possible!

To kick start my return, let me first apologize for any rustiness with regards to my writing. It has been a while since I've written for fun as most of the things I've written and typed out were patient evaluation reports, session notes and therapy plans. This past year has been majorly hectic as I went through my last year in college. I went through a grueling 10 months of clinical internship that has contributed significantly to the therapist and person that I am today.

Cue applause

Yes, yes. I have been through a lot this past year, even managing to scratch a couple of things off my bucket list, both the one I have mentally drafted in my mind and the one posted here on my blog. To start off, I am officially a college graduate! *Insert various graduation pictures here* This means, I managed to survive four years at one of the main universities in my country. That in itself is no easy feat, let me tell you, that! But I managed to do it, and I am eternally happy and grateful for being able to do so. A lot of people and experiences have contributed to that awesome moment when it had finally sunk in that I was done with college and all that stuff. It's a pretty amazing feeling. Could definitely be right up on there alongside "pooping", "eliminating that itch" and "catching my crush looking at me" on my "feel-good list".

So what do I do from here? I definitely have a lot of plans, but for now, I managed to snag a job (surprising how they'd take a weirdo like me in, right?) at a local therapy center where I will start doing what I've been trained for - speech therapy!

"Okay kid. Let's talk."

I've a lot of other plans, but those shall be reserved for future posts. For now, I really need to get my shizz in order. I have plenty of pending adult-stuff to work on. Clearance papers and government affairs and whatnot. Who knew being an adult would be this hard? And all along I thought all they did was sit in front of a computer all day at their offices in their fancy ties and high heels sending chain mails, chatting around the water cooler and drinking coffee, all the while getting paid and then getting the stuff they want. 

"WOOHOO! I am adult now?"

Turns out, the real world isn't that easy. You actually have to do something called "work", which is such a foreign thing to me that I darn near collapsed at the thought of it. However, that's just the way it is. Although I do admit I miss the student life where everything was mapped out for you and the biggest issues you would face included where on earth you last placed your homework (Protip: you'll never find it, 'cause you never did it. But don't worry, I'm sure your intellectually-gifted seatmate is willing to "compare answers" with you) and what after school places you could hang out at with your friends, the adult life is actually pretty cool in itself. I mean, you get paid for what you're doing (even if it is work) so that's definitely a plus! Additionally, you get a lot more freedom to make your own decisions and stuff. 

"So will I go for the yellow, the yellow green, the yellow-ish, or the more-green-than-yellow? Gawd. Decisions, decisions!"

Of course, this opens up a whole lot more issues as well. But that's okay. Life is all about experiencing stuff, making mistakes and hitting jackpots once in a while. The important thing is that you continue growing and learning. 

This just in: realized that I'm starting to sound like a legitimate adult now. That's like, totally awesomesauce and cooli-o, dude!

Peace, 

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

HEEEEERRREEEE'SSS ISHASHIME!

DUN DUN DUN!

I just wanted a great big banner with fireworks and confetti, fancy champagne and those little cheese and hotdogs on sticks to announce my return to the blogging world after more than a year of being away. But sadly, all I could come up with was that spazzy expression up top.

But anyway, the important thing is, I'm back. And I'm sure all you lovely people have missed me so very very much.
Admit it, people. Y'all can't resist me.

Kidding aside though, I have definitely missed all of you and your blogs! I definitely have a lot of catching up to do, and a lot of news to tell. A lot has happened in the past year, and I mean a lot! I can't wait to expose all the blahs, the blues and the blarghs I've experienced since my last post (which has incidentally also contributed to my return. I do not want my blog's last post to be of a successful dog tick removal method, for crying out loud).

Weeeee,