The Pigeon That Tried To Kill Me

I woke up this morning to the sound of scratching and rustling, apparently coming from the bedroom window. It was still fairly early (around 7AM) and the room I shared with my brother was only illuminated by the faint orange sunlight filtered by the curtains. My brother and I slept on a bunk bed with myself occupying the top one. (Hey, bunk beds are fun!) I always wanted the one with the slide but then my parents opted for the less-likely-accident-prone one (the one with just the ladder. Ha!) But anyway, groggy and disoriented, I decided to move over to the foot of the bed (where the window was), draw back the curtains and see what was up.

This. This was what was up.

I was a bit taken aback, although nothing major and I just stared at the pigeon resting comfortably on the window sill for a few seconds. That is of course, before it decided to become the pigeon from hell and started flapping its wings angrily and ramming itself into the window. As I tumbled out of the top bunk (which mind you, was three feet off the ground), very much startled, all I could think of was Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Long story short, my brother wakes up from the noise (which was a combination of me shrieking and hitting the floor with a loud thud) and my parents rush into the room to see what had happened, only to find me writhing in pain on the floor claiming a pigeon had tried to kill me. 

Of course, they didn't believe me, convinced that I was merely having a bad dream. But I know the truth. There's a killer pigeon out there and it wants me silenced for *gulp* good. Later, with my shoulder still rather sore, I decided to check on the pigeon. I peeked through the curtains: It was gone! Then I realized there was a nest on the window sill composed of juice box straws, plastic fasteners, tissue, random pieces of note paper and a. . .small plastic toy turtle (what the heck, killer pigeon?).

Now that I think of it, perhaps that pigeon got angry at me considering I got all in its face, and I was disturbing it as it created a pretty little nest for its little babies. *waits patiently for helpless baby pigeons to arrive* Muahahahaha! What? I'm kidding. 

Chirp,

Sleep-talking Troubles

Here's a little fact about myself that I'm not exactly proud of- I talk in my sleep sometimes. Now, this would be all fine and dandy if only I talked about stuff that anyone (who might have unfortunately caught me sleep-talking) would regard as awesome. I wish I talked about mathematical problems or philosophical theories or other smart crap like I do when I am awake (not).

Pictured: awesome sleep-talking

But sadly, this is not the case. Instead, I spew out ungrammatical sentences revolving around water balloons, fishing wheels, my toast falling peanut butter side down and other such nonsense.

Pictured: guilty confession of love for Jasper from Twilight

I've been told many a time by both family members and friends alike that I woke them in the middle of the night by my inane nighttime ramblings, occasionally accompanied by my schoolgirl-who-just-got-pushed-into-her-crush giggling. They think it's funny (annoying sometimes) but I think it's downright horrifying. I mean, what if I suddenly confess something other than my admiration of Jasper's sexiness? What if I suddenly blurt out secrets and opinions best kept to myself? Therefore, I decided to research on ways to (if not eliminate my sleep-talking altogether) at least reduce it significantly.

Err...on second thought, I think sleep talking is rather cute.

via

However, once you think about it, I guess I am (and everyone else around me while I am asleep) is way better off than that guy from The Fourth Kind. Alien possession while under hypnosis, sleep-talking, basically the same thing, right?

What the shizz!?!?! I have to admit, though, I am sort of jealous of his levitation skillz.

Sweet dreams, 

Slow Zombies vs. Fast Zombies

I was out at a mall with my family the other day when we came across a stall with a guy in a suit offering to digitally draw caricatures of us for a price. Naturally, my family volunteered me (or rather, gave me a strong push forward) to be the guinea pig. I obliged and sat in a chair in front of the guy as he sketched me on his tablet. I had to sit still with this very fake and rather weird smile plastered on my face for about seven minutes as a crowd started forming around me, each one curious about how the drawing was turning out. Either that or they were all just probably wondering what I did to get my face stuck like that.

Perhaps someone accidentally tweaked my facial nerve, too.

I did the moms present a favor, though. I'm sure their kids will all never screw with their faces again, convinced that mothers are right when it comes to the when-you-make-a-funny-face-it-stays-that-way thing. Eventually, the guy finished drawing my face (I was actually surprised he managed to suppress his laughter the whole time) and showed me his sketch. I was pretty okay with it, so I let him finalize it, print it and laminate it. What do you guys think? Gosh, is my face that long? Granted, it is a caricature, which means the facial features are exaggerated and everything, but still. I look like an eggplant. Here's a comparison picture: (The caricature on the left was drawn by the guy. The eggplant face was by yours truly)

It's freaky how alike the two pictures are. Haha. Oh, also, I had the guy write my name in Arabic. Cool, no?

Anyway, after we left and stopped at a red light not far from said mall, we encountered a couple of beggars who moved like zombies, but slow ones like George Romero zombies and not like 28 Days Later/Resident Evil zombies. They all hobbled in their own unique ways, occasionally stopping beside your car window and giving their best sad puppy dog impersonation so you could feel sorry for them and hand them some cash. Now, don't get me wrong, I genuinely feel sorry for people to whom life had dealt a bad hand, but here's the thing, as the lights turned green, and we sped off, I looked back, and watched them all go from this:

to this: (They were all standing up straight and walking like normal people)

It's kind of sad that they have to put on this act to get money from people. I wonder why they don't just get jobs, seeing as they were all young men with healthy-looking bodies. Having a job sure beats pretending to hobble around in the streets all day. Either that, or they're looking to be hired as extras for the next zombie flick. Too bad all the zombies in films today are super fast. Kind of sucks since they're called the walking dead for a reason. But hey, slow zombies vs. fast zombies debate anyone?

Graaar,

80's Movie Marathon

My love life isn't really what anyone would normally consider breathtakingly awesome. Not even close. I won't lie, I've had my fair share of guys who liked me. But, let's just say they aren't really my type. Also, the dates are pretty boring and they never really do anything that impresses me. Except for the giving me food part. That, i love.

Forgive me for being too wishy-washy here, but I'd really want my life to be like a movie, for once. I want to have a really awesome day off and have my boyfriend make up an excuse then pose as my dad and pick me up in the middle of class in a really rare red Ferrari. Of course, I will also then proceed to kiss him as our principal looks on with an expression of mixed horror and disgust on his face.

"So that's how it is in their family."

I want someone to write me blue letters telling me that he'll always be there for me, and hold a boombox over his head outside my bedroom window and go to England with me, all the while holding my hands on the plane and reassuring me that everything's going to be alright (The shaking because he's happy is only optional). I want someone to walk across a football field and fist pump the air because he just kissed me. I want someone (in full-on uniform) to walk up to me, sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset.

Siiiiigggghhhh. (P.S. I'd want the horse, too)

Potential male suitors, take heed! Also, is it too obvious that I've been re-watching films from even before I was born? Ah, but it's movies like these that make a girl believe in fairy tales again. Sigh. Now, leave me to my swooning.

Love,

Those Thai People Really Know How To Make Ads

I will not lie, I cried to this video:

Wait, no. I bawled my freakin' eyes out. Guess you're not really desensitized enough when an insurance ad (though I didn't get that) does that to you. 

Sniffles,

:D

So, I've got some great news today. Which is a good thing, after Blogger's recent downtime. I was feeling all sad and a bit frustrated yesterday and err, now I'm guessing you want me to get to the point, eh? Very well. I got awarded again! Yay for that! Jodie-Ann gave me the Makes Me Smile Award, and that makes me smile. Seriously. Here is a visual representation:

Told you it made me smile. :)

Anyway, this award has some rules. Let me bring it up for you:

1. Accept this award with a smile and link to the person who sent it to you. :)
2. Pass this on to five blogs that make you smile.
3. Contact the person somehow to tell them that they have received this award.

So, time to pass this award on to five awesome blogs that make me smile. Tee-hee. Here we go. I hereby award this to:

1) clicks and cuts by Mayen. Her posts are a healthy mix of romance, family and humor, along with a bunch of other stuff thrown in every now and then. I find that her posts always seem to make me smile. Therefore, her blog deserves this award!

2) Were It A Girl by Martin Alexander. I like reading reviews and recommendations. I remember following a couple of blogs that did reviews a while back but then the owners all stopped blogging for some reason. You should check out Martin's blog. His writing style is light and fun.

3) Fang Talks by Fang. He posts about pretty random stuff. Sometimes it's about his day, or something that made him laugh. Pretty good despite the fact that a couple of the posts are scheduled posts. Make time for blogger, you! Haha. Kidding.

4) I Don't Skinny Dip...I Chunky Dunk by Eeshie. Her posts are long and random, but they really do keep your attention till the very end. Definitely a blog to go and check out. 

5) ...The Run-on Sentences of Life... by Jodie-Ann. How can I not include dear ol' Jodie-Ann's blog? Every one of her posts makes me smile (laugh sometimes). When I first started blogging, her blog was one of the blogs I looked up to. You guys should go check her blog out now.

P.S. here is the original unedited award: 

That is all,

Amnesia Update and Something Else

'Ello thar, followers, readers, stalkers! How YOU doin'?

Things have been going rather okay-ish for me. I haven't really done any significant progress on Amnesia. This is probably due to the fact that I pause the game every couple of minutes and freak out because I am weird like that. I feel as if I'm a sitting duck just waiting for those monsters to come and get me. Also, I feel as if I'm just moving around in circles. I can almost hear those monsters talking about me.

Monster 1: *snicker* *snicker* Hasn't she passed this way before?
Monster 2: Yeah, like three times already. *snicker*
Monster 1: She looks so lost. Let's put her out of her misery.
Monster 2: Ooooh. Let's.
*Monsters jump from out of freakin' nowhere!*
Me: UWAAAAHHH! WTFWTFWTFWTF!

This is pretty much how I go about the game (P.S. there's a ton of swearing in this video. It's pretty hilarious nonetheless):


It's my turn to give the family dog a bath today, and I love how he doesn't move at all as I spray him with water. He just stands there, taking it, like a boss. Also, he has this weird look on his face. The water isn't cold and it isn't hot either. Sometimes, I wonder if there is something wrong with that dog. Either that or he's just really well-behaved. Yay!

Hoo-ha,

Lezz Play Vidya Games!

Bah. These past few days have been rather boring for me. *sad face* A rather obvious contrast from my previous island-hopping, adventure-filled April.

My entire routine consists of sleeping, waking up, eating, playing Sims 2/watching TV till early evening, and then eating once more. At this point, I shall go to sleep again and the process repeats itself in the morning. I've become so bored that I've made life extremely miserable for my Simmies. For example:

I've killed them off every which way possible. Death by flies, death by drowning, death by starvation, death by fire, etc. Only to resurrect them again and torture them some more.

Death by hail. Second only to my favorite: death by satellite.

I've stuffed their little faces with so much food (mostly burgers) that they look like Jabba the Hutt.

Sorry ladies, but this here hottie's married.

Also, I let them get busy *wink wink* in the bedroom more than usual...

...waaaay more than usual.

Okay, so I'm not really that bad (mostly). I've just been really really bored. However, I've recently acquired a game called Amnesia: The Dark Descent. You can view its wiki page here. I'm thinking this'll tide me over for a while. They say Amnesia is one of the scariest computer games to date, and I've decided to try it out.

You play a guy named Daniel, and everything is set in the year 1839. And well, you can just view the wiki page. I'm at the point where you have to collect a couple of chemicals to dissolve the red gunk that's blocking some of the doors (and which also hates me for some reason). I've already encountered two monsters to date, and I'm already pretty psyched. I scream like a little sissy when I see one of the monsters in game which look like these:

Gyaaaa! I think my freaking out is pretty understandable. 

Oh, and did I mention you don't have anything to fight these..these...things with? The best you can do is throw a rock or something at it, and all that does is immobilize it for a while, as you run away screaming your head off. My brother has already asked me a dozen times to quiet down and he's in the other room with the TV on at a pretty high volume. Well, let's just see how this goes. I'm getting pretty scared already. Tee-hee.

Ta Ta,

Time To Plant Some Mean, Green Fighting Machines

Hello everyone. I've noticed a lot of other bloggers have started this thing, and I think it's a really neat idea. Therefore I shall follow in Fiona's, Jodie-Ann's, Kuroneko's and iZaynab's footsteps. 

Did you know that for every visit my blog (or any other website for that matter) gets, about 0.02g of carbon dioxide is caused? Well, I didn't either. Also, I don't think that's a lot. However, it does pile up after a while. This website claims to plant a tree for your blog thereby neutralising your blog's carbon footprint for the next 50 years! That's pretty substantial in my opinion. To join, you have to make a blog post about this and include this button: 

 

Then you e-mail the link to CO2-neutral@kaufda.de. Then, boom! They plant a tree for you somewhere. So there. I was once part of a couple of tree-planting missions back when I was younger, but I never really paid it any mind. Now that I'm older (and hopefully wiser?) I now realize the significance of all this. I hope you (beloved reader) do, too. 

Oh, and also, I made a favicon for my blog. You can view it up top where the tab for my blog is located. It's a picture of a purple winking face. Yes, not very imaginative, I know. Ah, well. It'll have to do. At least until I find something better to replace it with. Hoho. I used Jodie-Ann's tutorial to make my favicon. You should go ahead and make one, too. That is, if you'd want. 

Toodles,

only in the romance movies

Ah, romantic movies. Perfect for those nights when all a girl wants to do is snuggle up on the couch with a huge tub of ice cream and a box of tissues. However, here is a list of stuff that only seem to happen in these romantic flicks:

1) The "ugly" nerdy girl transforms into a stunning beauty with a couple of ridiculous modifications.
We all know about this cliche, so don't pretend you don't. They cast a pretty girl to play the lead role and to make her seem completely undesirable to everyone, they stick glasses on her (what's wrong with glasses? I wear glasses. They're sexy. Or maybe this is just my insecurity over my poor eyesight talking). Anyway, they also have her tie her hair up in a ponytail. Bonus if she has braces, too.

Ew. How ugly.

Finally, at some point in the movie she'll decide to undergo a transformation that merely involves removing her glasses (and never using them again), wearing her hair down and slipping into a sexy little dress. Of course, the slow-walk-down-the-stairs scene or dramatic-entrance-into-a-room scene is obligatory afterwards. 

"I'm gorgeous now. Who cares if I can't make out any of your facial features due to my horrible eyesight, I'm not wearing those glasses again."

2) Completely opposite people are meant for each other.

Almost half (I think.) of romance movies have this very plot. Either a hot cheerleader/successful young woman falls for the loser guy who clearly fails at life or the captain of the football team/successful young man falls for the nerdy, socially-awkward girl. Of course, it can happen in real life, although quite rarely.

"I don't care if you don't have an immune system. We'll make this work. In the meantime, listen to this awesome guitar cover by yours truly"

3) Dramatic kisses always happen in the rain.

This doesn't really need much explanation. There's just something about kissing while freezing drops of rain pummel your body. Oh, and you get a cold afterwards, too. Think about all those sick days and all that phlegm and cough syrup. How romantic.

Blegh. Spiderman and MJ get plus points though. Because Spidey's upside down. Also because he's Spiderman and I like him.

4) There's always the lovemaking scene. Oh, and the L-shaped cover.

I don't recall a romantic film I ever saw that didn't involve a little romp in the hay. Usually this is not awkward and is always awesome, wild, and passion-filled. Also, it always occurs no later than the third date. And afterwards, everyone assumes this weird position wherein the covers is up to the woman's chin but exposes the man's chest completely. 

"Apparently, people in the film industry think everyone loves seeing a man's hairy chest. After all, women's breasts are freakin' ugly."

5) The only way to make things right is to run after him/her.

Usually, after the main conflict in the film, one of the lead characters will have to leave on an airplane or get married to someone else or drive out of town or whatever that basically means ending the love affair with the other lead character. At this point, the other lead character who is left behind, suddenly has the sudden realization that he or she cannot live with the other, and rushes as fast as possible to the airport or where the wedding is being held or the edge of town to try and catch the newly-realized love of his or her life before it's too late.

"Honey. I ran through airport security, hijacked this stair thingy and am currently about to be shot in the head because everyone now thinks I'm a terrorist. Also, I love you."

I honestly do not see the point in all of this. Why all the effort? Hasn't anyone in these movies heard of a cellphone? Just call 'em, profess your undying love to 'em. Boom! Happily Every After. Which brings me to:

6) Love conquers all

No matter what happened in these movies, everything will turn out okay in the end. All you need to make all your problems go away is a kiss with the one you love and it will seem like nothing else ever mattered. I mean, everyone will hijack a stair thingy and maneuver it alongside the plane with their loved one who is about to leave forever on board at least once in their life, right?

That's love for ya.

Oh and here's a picture of heart-shaped french fries because I love french fries.

Au revoir,

Post-Flying Post

So lately I've noticed from my stats (I check 'em everyday!) that people have been searching for really weird things and they end up on my blog. Also, these search terms don't appear just once, but multiple times! Whaaaat.

Here are a few examples:

1. the only thing i'm scared of is getting sucked in to the airplane
I honestly do not know why anyone would search for this. Although, after careful deliberation, I shall assume that they meant to search for this to try and find a support group online for people with a similar fear. I tried googling this to see what would happen and all I got were people on Yahoo! Answers asking how probable it is that their plane might crash, also a Mean Girls Move Transcript for some reason. Google images was of no help either since what came up were images of Lex Luthor, dried fish, Orlando Bloom, a star tattoo and what seems to be vegetable soup (?), among a lot of other random stuff. In all fairness, there is something related to airplanes: a goose-shaped airplane. However, the person/s who searched for this may have really just wanted to open up to their search engine about their deepest fears.

2. blue eyes falling out of an airplane lavatory, meaning
Now this would be really weird if this person was talking about this literally, since if blue eyes started popping out of the airplane lavatory, I would not stand there and make a mental note about going on the internet and searching for the meaning behind it later, so I'm assuming he/she dreamt about "blue eyes falling out of an airplane lavatory" and wants to know what it's all about. Frankly, I think it means you should lay off the ice cream and pickles before bed, darling.

3. something bit me under the water and swelled
So something bit you underwater and it suddenly swelled up like a balloon? Err. It was probably a pufferfish. I've always wanted to have a taste. They're extremely poisonous and it's always a gamble if you decide to sample it, prepared only by a certified Japanese chef, of course.

4. people sitting on the toilet
Ah, someone searched for this 6 times over the course of a couple of days. He/she really seemed to be very determined to search for people sitting on the toilet. So, due to "popular demand', here's a person sitting on the toilet drawn just for you:

Thank me later, Anon-who-searches-for-people-sitting-on-the-toilet.

In other news, I flew out yesterday and am now back in Jeddah after another 16 hour flight all in all. I have about a month left of my summer vacation and I'm going to make the most of it. For now, I need some well-deserved shuteye.

Cheers,