Monday, May 23, 2011

Slow Zombies vs. Fast Zombies

I was out at a mall with my family the other day when we came across a stall with a guy in a suit offering to digitally draw caricatures of us for a price. Naturally, my family volunteered me (or rather, gave me a strong push forward) to be the guinea pig. I obliged and sat in a chair in front of the guy as he sketched me on his tablet. I had to sit still with this very fake and rather weird smile plastered on my face for about seven minutes as a crowd started forming around me, each one curious about how the drawing was turning out. Either that or they were all just probably wondering what I did to get my face stuck like that.

Perhaps someone accidentally tweaked my facial nerve, too.

I did the moms present a favor, though. I'm sure their kids will all never screw with their faces again, convinced that mothers are right when it comes to the when-you-make-a-funny-face-it-stays-that-way thing. Eventually, the guy finished drawing my face (I was actually surprised he managed to suppress his laughter the whole time) and showed me his sketch. I was pretty okay with it, so I let him finalize it, print it and laminate it. What do you guys think? Gosh, is my face that long? Granted, it is a caricature, which means the facial features are exaggerated and everything, but still. I look like an eggplant. Here's a comparison picture: (The caricature on the left was drawn by the guy. The eggplant face was by yours truly)

It's freaky how alike the two pictures are. Haha. Oh, also, I had the guy write my name in Arabic. Cool, no?

Anyway, after we left and stopped at a red light not far from said mall, we encountered a couple of beggars who moved like zombies, but slow ones like George Romero zombies and not like 28 Days Later/Resident Evil zombies. They all hobbled in their own unique ways, occasionally stopping beside your car window and giving their best sad puppy dog impersonation so you could feel sorry for them and hand them some cash. Now, don't get me wrong, I genuinely feel sorry for people to whom life had dealt a bad hand, but here's the thing, as the lights turned green, and we sped off, I looked back, and watched them all go from this:

to this: (They were all standing up straight and walking like normal people)

It's kind of sad that they have to put on this act to get money from people. I wonder why they don't just get jobs, seeing as they were all young men with healthy-looking bodies. Having a job sure beats pretending to hobble around in the streets all day. Either that, or they're looking to be hired as extras for the next zombie flick. Too bad all the zombies in films today are super fast. Kind of sucks since they're called the walking dead for a reason. But hey, slow zombies vs. fast zombies debate anyone?



  1. I like the Kung Fu panda picture. [:

    And your story about the beggars was interesting. Maybe they were just joking? I'm not sure.
    But then again, getting a job makes you more money in the long run, so I guess that begging instead of job-hunting is their loss.

  2. The guy drawing is cute, you're drawing is hilarious. haha..

    I don't think I will be able to sit still for someone to draw me while people are gathering around me. I'll be self conscious. You Rock!

    Anyway, about the beggars,I also feel sad that they need to pretend to be all looking pitiful just to get cash. I feel sorry for them also.

  3. Aha iLove Zombie movies.
    & iDid notice how in some they walk s u p e r slow.
    & Your just like: - __ - Buh.
    When they get killed.
    Then theirs those from like " The Walking Dead " that trick you as if their slow, then once in a good area they move fast as hell.
    x P

  4. I like the artist's style.
    It's cute, but he had good material to work with, haha.
    Sometimes I find myself wanting a good caricature of myself and sometimes not.

    There are plenty here in NYC, but I've come to notice, while they're working, that they exaggerations they sometimes put in aren't so... accurate.

    Like the person sitting may have longer ears, but the drawing will have giant dimples and huge teeth. It almost seems like they pick out random attributes to distort rather than the obvious.

    Anyway, yeah, that's been bugging me...
    Speaking of zombies, there's going to be a zombie crawl going down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg next week, but apparently at least one person got their info wrong and they were out zombying about a week too early!

    And me, personally? I like the unpredictable-speed zombies. Like they start running towards you and then they just start inching towards you very slowly.
    It makes you go, "wtf?" until they pick up an energy boost and go full speed again.

  5. I love this post, it made me laugh! Thanks for being so hilariously witty :)

    I've never had my protrait done, but it sounds like fun (except the whole crowd gathering thing. i'm sure i would've gone tomato red in the face...) Love the panda picture!

    New follower, definitely!

  6. That's a pretty cool caricature? And lol at the zombies.

  7. Well, if they have never studied, and have no ID or anything, getting a job is pretty damn hard, if not impossible D:

  8. LOL!

    Hilarious post, as usual.

    And the captions...dude, someone should hire you. :D

  9. Hmm .. perhaps the zombies were an ad for the horror festival?

    There was a zombie-walk in the town here just a few weeks ago.

    That caricature looks really good, in my opinion..

  10. your caricature was really cute. i laughed at the eggplant comparison. :D
    LOL at the beggers! they are like that in Pakistan, too! always pretending that something is wrong with them so that some silly old fool will give them money out of pity.

  11. kung fu panda ftw.
    wow, ure name is like Ayesha in arabic.
    =D zombie beggars? =o
    haha HAW how the zombies change!

  12. Awesome drawings :D
    And, I think that those people can't get jobs because they're unqualified (no education). :(

  13. The caricature was really cool. :) I think he drew your face longer because it wasn't supposed to be a realistic drawing. Your face is perfect in real life. Haha. ;P
    But...I think he wrote your name in Arabic wrong. D:

  14. Kung Fu panda ftw!

    i like ur blog ^^, i´m a new follower :)

  15. Slow Zombies are the only real zombies... Fast running and jumping takes a LOT of fine motor control. Something the undead just don't have.

  16. Your description of the beggars was HILARIOUS. LOL

    I loved the post and the caricature's quite nice. :)

  17. lmao.
    i like your eggplant, and the caricature too, but you dont look funny at all in this =D
    At least putting up an act makes sense, some beggars here in India chop off a limb or two for the sympathy factor, either theirs or their kid's.
    zombies are awesome, slow or fast. Do I have to take a side? :O

  18. @Fiona: i like it,too. one of the funniest scenes in that movie. haha. i don't think they were joking. my dad said he sees those guys all the time when he passes by that stoplight on the way to work.

    @mayen: why, thankyou. you can't imagine how embarrassed i was as people started staring. haha. oh and yeah, those poor guys. but still, pretending to be something you're not in order to get cash is not cool.

    @iZaynab: yeah. zombie movies are fun. they sort of grow on you. haha.

    @Martin Alexander: yeah, i think the guy did a pretty okay job, too. you should get someone to draw you! perhaps the artists only want to hurt your feelings less by making fun of your other facial features instead of dwelling on those that are too obvious. haha. i kid. i don't really know why they do that. and ooh. tough break for the people that got their dates mixed up. haha. also, the unpredictable-speed zombies are fun...until you realize that the slowpoke undead you were laughing at a couple of feet behind you is now munching on your leg.

    @lucy: thankyou so much! and yeah, i was definitely embarrassed as the crowd got bigger. haha.

    @Ada: i kind of like the caricature. haha. zombies are awesome, yes?

    @Fang: yeah, but it's the pretending to be even more pityful than they really are that bothers me. guess they need their own means to make money, but still.

    @Lemons Don't Make Lemonade: thanks, and shucks, you're making me blush.

    @Sussch: they weren't likely an ad. my dad said he sees them all the time on his way to work. also, why do you guys have zombie walks in your towns and i don't? :( haha.

    @Furree Katt: haha. thanks.and yeah, i think it's kind of wrong to pretend to be crippled.

    @Sana Castellano: kung fu panda! :D and yeah, that's how i always wrote my name in arabic class. it's how my arabic teacher taught me to write it.

    @Jodie-Ann: yes, the drawings are nice. :D but it's the pretending to be crippled that sort of bothers me as well. i think they do need the money, though but still, faking a bad leg or something isn't really cool in my opinion.

    @Beyond Timid: yeah, i guess that's the reason. haha. as for my Arabic name, my Arabic teachers taught me to spell my name like that. i don't know. perhaps it's because they always called me Ayesha or Aisha and not Isha.

    @abby M: thanks! :D

    @BigMike: wow. that's a good point.

    @Felicity: why, thankyou. :)

    @Delilah: aww. thankyou. haha. and wow. that's pretty hardcore. the lengths some people will go to to get sympathy (and cash) amazes me. :O and no, you don't have to take a side. we can all just agree that zombies are awesome. haha. :D

  19. Will you get mad if I say the eggplant cartoon actually looks better (i.e. more like you)? LOL. Just kidding, of course.

    I've posted a blog entry about homeless kids before. I had one experience where the kid, healthy-looking but sad-faced-looking, was asking me for some coins, but I instead offered him my peanut butter sandwich. (I love peanut butter sandwiches so me giving up one is a huge thing to me.) I was horrified by what he did: he opened it with his dirty hands and looked at the filling and when he saw it was peanut butter he gave it back to me saying he didn't want it. What's wrong with these homeless people? They have to act hungry to get some money and when they're given food instead of cash they just give it back? What the hell?

    And peanut butter is awesome!!!

    Sorry I talked a lot. Your blog is great. =]

  20. @Oliver: no. i won't get mad. just rather angry. haha. i'm kidding and seeing as you're kidding, too then we're even. :)

    as for the kid who gave back your peanut butter sandwich, i'm guessing it's because they can't return to whoever they work for (yes, there are such things) with a peanut butter sandwich. these people employ street kids to beg for them so that they'd get money without doing the dirty work. :(

    such a shame since i too believe peanut butter is awesome. and thanks for the compliment on my blog. :)


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