Thursday, January 13, 2011

only in the action movies

This is a list of things that only seem to happen in action films, based on my own personal observations. Why, oh why do they have to be so predictable?

1. Good guys get shot, punched, kicked, etc. in various places and yet still manage to miraculously go on and defeat the bad guy(s).
Medically speaking, if you get shot in the shoulder, it would cause excruciating pain (basically it would hurt like heck) and you would be completely immobilized for days or even weeks, yet surprisingly, all male action heroes merely utter a grunt and clutch their shoulder for a few seconds after getting shot and go on like nothing has happened. Same goes for getting shot in the leg, etc.

2. Alternately, all it takes to leave an evil henchman or thug unconscious is a single kick or punch.
These big, burly men immediately get knocked out after the main hero punches/kicks them once. Maybe they should have considered a career in paper folding. Wait, they'd probably bleed to death from the paper cuts. *cough* like Bella from Twilight *cough*

3. The evil mastermind will always reveal his evil plans to the hero while he is restrained.
Why would you even do this? You know that somehow, one way or another, that guy could escape, so just shoot him already and get it over with.

3. When you fall and are pinned to the ground while in a struggle, there is always a gun within reach.
To get and use it, you just need to distract the other person you're with and reach for it in the most obvious manner while looking at the person pinning you down with your most innocent look possible.

4. When there is a car chase, the cars always seem to miraculously avoid the lady who suddenly appears without warning, pushing her baby in a stroller in the middle of the street but they hit huge fruit or vegetable stands on the side of the road. 
Hooray for the saved lady and baby who always seem to cross the street with the worst possible timing! However, I also feel sorry for the good-hearted individuals trying to make a living through a reliable business since everything they've worked so hard for in a while is now reduced to squished nothingness.

5. In a fight wherein the hero is outnumbered one to at least 50, everyone else waits for one of their co-thugs to get knocked out before charging.
So why do all the thugs form a circle around the hero and aimlessly dance around in a supposedly threatening manner while they go at him one by one, giving him a chance to immobilize each of them (using cliché number 2)?

6. All bombs have huge digital red numbers on them that seem to count slower as the person attempting to diffuse it gets closer to doing so.
Also, it always gets diffused with three seconds left or less.

7. If an important character is about to die, he will always utter something important with his last breath.
This character is usually an old man and inexplicably withholds important information until he dies by slowly closing his eyes and loosening his grip on the main character.

8. A bad guy, after being presumed dead will magically come back to life for one last shot.
The heroes should seriously consider really checking if the bad guy is dead. Shooting him in the head is one's best bet.

9. Shooting at anything instantly makes it explode.
Cars or whatever instantly explode when you fire a single bullet at it, and the hero, sometimes with his love interest hand in hand will be running away from the explosion and will jump at exactly the right time (the height of the explosion) and will land at the closest possible safe distance.

10. Anyone can do anything even with absolutely no prior experience.
From shooting a gun perfectly to landing an entire plane flawlessly with people on board with you, whoever you are, you can do it. 

So that's it for now. I might add more lists like this in the future.

Hasta la vista, baby,


  1. OMG HAHAHAHA YOU ARE THE BEST. everything you mentioned on this list was so correct, it's actually funny. i enjoyed this post!

  2. @Furree Katt: thankyou! :D

    @Horuss: welcome? haha.

  3. Wait!! I'm here!!!! I missed this one... Didn't see this post, until today..

    Thanks so much! ☺ ♥ ☺

    My Tasty Treasures
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  4. I'm truly sorry.. I had trouble in finding the right comment box for the right post.. The one above is suppoed to be the one with regards to the award.. So sorry.. =(

  5. @leah: haha. it's okay. xD you're welcome, by the way. you deserved that award! :)

  6. ahhh thank youthank you for having me in mind!
    (even though I'm not an active blogger).
    This means a lot to me because I don't think I'm the type to get noticed much!! :D

    and sorry for the late reply! :)

  7. @Little Miss Big Nose: haha. no problem. i like your blog and every post is worth a wait. :)

    p.s. you seemed to have commented in the wrong comment box, like Leah did. haha. my blog layout must be confusing you guys. sorry! :/ haha.


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